Page 38 - Talented Astrologer • Volume 1 Number 12 • November/December 2017
P. 38

For one thing, when we’re with our entire family, we have to juggle a number of di erent relationships at the same time. Our attention is divided at best, and for many of us, our awareness deserts us completely after the  rst major skirmish. We feel like we’re surrounded and have to defend ourselves from sneak attacks. We often feel that retreat is not an option. When we are cornered, we often believe that the only way that
we can survive is to  ght our way out, new relationship
skills be damned.
While most people assume
that General Sherman was referring to the Civil War when he stated, “War is hell,” in fact, he was referring to a particularly memorable
that General Sherman was referring to the Civil
War when he stated, ‘War is hell,’ in fact, he was referring to a particularly memorable Thanksgiving dinner with his family.”
Whatever happens, we need to accept that it is perfect.
We are doing our best, and that’s all we can ever ask of ourselves. And remember that our awareness that we’re acting out an old pattern is, in itself, a change in that pattern! As we develop our awareness, we will spend
 anksgiving dinner with his
family.  is also explains why
he could send his troops into battle without a second thought, but that the very mention of cranberry sauce would reduce him to tears.
less time caught in our old patterns. Over time, our awareness will help us to make lasting and permanent changes in those patterns.
TIP #2: Go Easy On Your Family
 is piece of advice is equally as important as going easy on ourselves, but it’s often a bit more challenging to follow. Essentially, we must be willing to forgive our relatives for everything. We must be able to accept that they only ever did the best they could at any given time. We need to begin to recognize and relate to our families as people instead of as family members. We need to begin to know them for who they are, and not simply for who they are to us.
When we embrace the truth that even our family members are individualized aspects of All  at Is, our
resolving our responses to their issues. Our objective is to maintain our own safety and validation accounts, focus our awareness, and survive the family event reasonably unscathed.
However, maintaining our awareness while we’re relating to our families takes practice! We must go easy on ourselves. We may react when we would
rather respond. We may be “While most people assume drawn into old arguments.
Bearing this in mind, here are some essential tips for surviving your next family gathering.
TIP #1: Go Easy On Yourself!
 e  rst, and most important survival tip is to remember that navigating and surviving family gatherings takes exceptional skill and often quite a bit of practice. We will not be able to transform our entire family dynamic between the salad course and the pumpkin pie. In fact, we may not be able to change our family dynamic at all—and it’s important that we accept that we don’t need to. It’s not our responsibility to help our family members resolve their issues. We’re only responsible for
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