Page 55 - Talented Astrologer • Volume 1 Number 1 • September 2016
P. 55

On another level, expectations of compliance include following the rules and conventions that govern a given situation. We expect other people to comply
with the rules, and we also expect that we will comply
with the rules ourselves.
What are expectations of approval?
Expectations of approval are straightforward. We expect that we will receive validation, approval, and recognition for our ideas, our behavior, and also for who we are
personally, as individuals.  e problem with these expectations is that we expect the approval to come from other people, and that’s not reasonable.
As an example, I’ll share a personal experience of resentment. I’ll identify the caca expectations and demonstrate how to question them.
First, here’s the original story, with all of the resentment.
I was watching a movie one Saturdayeveningwhenadesign client called, interrupting me. I had to pause the movie, deal with
the client, and ended up working on a stupid  ier and turning it around that evening instead of taking the night o  and enjoying the movie.
convenience, but a phone call from a client on a Saturday evening was especially inconvenient.
Agreement:  is is a little harder to de ne because it overlaps with both my expectations of convenience
and compliance. Part of my expectation of agreement has to do with when it’s appropriate to call someone on the phone. I’m willing to receive calls from friends
or family until about 10 p.m., but I expect that clients will restrict their phone calls to normal business hours. I expected my client to agree with that, but I also expected him to comply with it.
“The problem is that we expect the approval to come from other people, and that’s not reasonable.”
Now let’s identify the CACA expectations. Convenience: My expectations of convenience were that Saturday evenings are my personal time. I expected that I would be able to
Compliance: Most of my initial resentment came from my expectations of compliance, which kicked in the minute the phone rang. I have an unconscious expectation that when the phone rings, I’m obligated to answer it. I don’t feel
watch a movie when I wanted to
watch it, without interruption. likeIhaveanyotherchoice.
Any phone call during the movie My expectations of compliance would violate my expectations of also showed up because I felt like
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