Page 32 - Talented Astrologer • Volume 1 Number 1 • September 2016
P. 32

only easy,  owing connections. But if you have lots of hard aspects in your natal chart, a relationship made up entirely of easy,  owing connections will bore you to tears.
We’re attracted to partners who will help us maintain the familiar dynamics
in our lives. Most people have
a balance of stimulating, hard
aspects and  owing, soft aspects
in their charts, and we’re attracted
to partners who have similar dynamics in their charts. We seek partners in relationship who will
help us to embody our own charts, and sometimes that means we need someone to challenge us.
But romantic relationships are very complicated. We’re governed by a host of unconscious programming and expectations. And like it or not,
the model for all our romantic relationships is based on our experiences and perceptions of our parents’ relationship.
Your experience of the dynamic
of your parents’ relationship is also familiar.
 e gender of your romantic partner doesn’t matter. Unconsciously, you are attracted to partners who remind youofyouropposite-genderparent.Andthemoreserious your romantic attachment becomes, the more you will expect your relationship — and the roles you play in your relationship — to conform to your unconscious perceptions of your parents’ relationship.
 e good news is that once you become conscious of the contents of your Marriage Blueprint, you can alter
them to suit your needs. You’re not required to recreate your parents’ relationship.  e bad news is becoming conscious of the contents of your Marriage Blueprint
isn’t as easy as it seems.
 at pretty much covers everything that we
want when we look for a romantic partner.
The problem is that we can get what we want and still
not be happy.
Wants aren’t important in relationship. What matters in relationships are needs,
speci cally Safety Needs and Validation Needs. As long as we feel safe and validated
(loved and appreciated) in a relationship, that relationship is amazing. And anytime we’re unhappy in a relationship it’s because we’re experiencing a lack of safety, a lack of validation, or some combination
of the two.
“Safe” and “validated” don’t mean the same things
to everyone.  e ways we expect to meet these needs depend on the particular language we speak for that need.  e element and sign of your Moon reveal the
language you speak to meet your Safety Needs, and the element and sign of your Venus reveal the language you speak to meet your Validation Needs.
If you’re lucky, the partners you  nd attractive also have a reasonably easy time making you feel safe and validated. Otherwise, to  nd an appropriate romantic partner you may have to ignore the call of your heart and pay more attention to your head.  e excitement of that  rst spark of attraction will fade, sooner than you
think. A successful romantic relationship needs deeper connections.
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