Daniela Asks:

“[What is the] relationship between the personality of an astrologer and the type of charts coming his/her way? It seems to be almost a rule that charts come in batches linked together by prominent themes (major aspects/signs, etc.)…More importantly, they often reflect the current issues of my own development. I’m aware that I may have the tendency to project my own problems to the charts.”

Kevin Answers:

Daniela,

Your question brings up some very significant points about astrology—and about counseling in general. In order to answer your questions, though, I’m going to have to start at the top.

The relationship between a client and an astrologer is just that: a relationship. As such, it is subject to all of the universal rules that govern every other kind of relationship, the most important of which is that it’s never about the other person. Our partners in relationships (in all relationships) are our mirrors. We project our own issues, lessons, and expectations on others in order to be able to understand more clearly and learn how to integrate these aspects of our selves. In particular, the majority of our relationships exist to help us to overcome our core issues of betrayal with our parents. To clarify this: when we are born, we expect our parents to be perfect and to be able to meet all of our needs and protect us absolutely. When we discover that they are not perfect, we experience the first betrayal in our lives, and we spend much of the remaining time trying to heal the aftershocks of this realization.

The universe is amazingly efficient in that we always manage to attract people into our lives that will accurately reflect back to us whatever is the most crucial at the time. And more than that: while we’re projecting our issues onto our partners, they’re doing the same thing to us. Just as we have something we can learn from every person in our lives—particularly from the people we least want to include in our lives—they also have something they can learn from us. The thing to remember here is that we are not responsible for other people. It is of absolutely no concern if our partners are learning what they are meant to learn from us. If we get our lessons and are ready to move on, and they haven’t gotten theirs, then we’ll move on to our next relationship and our next teacher, and they will attract someone else into their lives that can help them to learn their current lesson. This also applies to counseling situations where someone has come to us for guidance and advice. It is not important to make sure that our clients take our advice!

It is important, on the other hand, that we listen to it.

You see, the deep, dark secret of counseling work is that every single bit of advice that we offer to a client (or anyone else, for that matter) applies to us. It’s never about the other person. Now, might the advice be valid and useful to the other person? Certainly (and hopefully) it might. But we must always remember that on some level, in some way, it also applies to us, and once we’ve shared the advice and observations, we need to be worrying about how we’re going to integrate it, not if the client has taken it to heart.

But wait, there’s more. The next deep, dark secret of counseling work is that we can only help others to heal what we have healed in ourselves. Our life experiences, our individual and hard-won wisdom form an essential foundation for our ability to help others. When we are approached by a client experiencing the same kind of wounds as we have, we have genuine sympathy, understanding and compassion. We may not have an answer or a solution, but the fact that we can truly understand and appreciate our client’s pain in and of itself can create a powerful healing transformation for the client.

Now lest you get the impression that in order to be an effective counselor one must be whole, complete, and fully integrated in all ways, there is one more (equally deep but significantly less dark) secret of counseling. We will only attract clients to us that we have the ability to help. This is important on a number of levels. First of all, our own healing process is ongoing and will last a lifetime (and beyond). However much more we have to work on, there are areas where we can still offer valuable assistance to others. If you want to wait until you have fully addressed all of your own lessons before you start counseling others, you will never see a client.

Daniela, I want to take a moment here and acknowledge how you have already recognized that you project your own issues onto your client’s charts. We all do. We all have our own bias and our own prejudices, and we will never be completely successful at keeping them out of our interactions with clients. The best we can hope for is to become more aware of our bias. Remember, though, that our bias is not always a bad thing! We attracted this client to us because of our own, unique perspective. As long as we’re able to keep our ego out of it, we’ll do fine.

It’s a rather long-winded answer, I know. The short version is: yes, of course we attract clients to us with charts that will encourage us to look at our own issues.

I personally have a hard time working with my own chart and rarely pay too much attention to the day-to-day transits. Years ago, I had a client who was going to be experiencing a Neptune transit squaring her Sun, and counseled her about conserving energy and honoring her physical limitations during the transit, while making the best use of the enhanced spiritual elements. Three days later, I realized that her Sun was directly opposed to my Sun—and that I was experiencing the exact same transit (and needed to follow my own advice to her).

Like I said: the universe is amazingly efficient when it needs to be.

Important as the spiritual and metaphysical reasons are, there is also a far more practical reason why you tend to attract groups of clients with similar charts. Clients with similar charts experience the major transits to their chart at the same time. During the 2002 Mars Retrograde cycle in Pisces, for example, people with planets in the first ten degrees of Pisces felt a tremendous surge of energy—and many of them asked for assistance in understanding it. Any clients that call me within a month of a Solar Eclipse tend to have planets in their chart that were triggered by the eclipse.

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